Monday, January 21, 2013

PTSD

Its been a while since i last made a post. A lot of things are going on right now. Im still cancer free. I had to see my cancer doc a couple months ago. The first thing i do when i see him is blood work. I always stress a bit over that since i can only have sticks in my right arm. No sticks or BP's in left arm since the mastectomy and lymph nodes being removed on that side. Since i had chemo in my right arm and it destroyed my veins in that arm, they have to draw blood out of the back of my hand or my wrist. I always tell them im a hard stick so i want the best one to do it. well this girl said i got it. But she was gabbing with another girl about shoping and laughing and carrying on i felt she wasnt paying a bit of attention to what she was doing. When i told her they usually get it from the back of my wrist. She said "are you kidding me". i said nope. so she said ok not to worry. well she didnt stick me where i told her to. She wenot the to left of where she should have. Then she couldnt get it to flow into the tube. It started hurting right away, grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. She actually asked the girl she was gabbing with to come and pull on the syringe to draw it. That girl said she didnt want to blow it. I thought how stupid she dont know what she is doing at all. So when i finally busted out crying because it was hurting so bad she stoped and apologized. then she went to the back of my hand and got it there, but it hurt too. So i swear i couldnt quit crying. I cried for i bet 2 hours. What that episode did to me was give me flash backs to when i had chemo and all the times that they had to stick me. The chemo would turn my veins red up my arm and hurt and burn. They would have to start a new IV sometimes 3 or 4 times to get all the poison in me. I felt all that like it was yesterday. To me that was my Post Tramatic Stress Disorder. I dont know how soldiers deal with it. I feel so bad for them to have to do what they do and see what they see and come home to try to live a normal life. We really do not begin to give our soldiers the right medical treatments they need to cope when they come home. All i know is that day for me was horendous. I can't imagine how a soldier gets thru it as im sure its quadruple what i felt. Now onto other issues. Ben was layed off from his job as a drilling rig worker a week before christmas. He has worked for this company since 1981. He has arthritis and has struggled with his job for the past 4 or 5 years. He has taken 3 medical leaves to rest his body. His company was sold last year to a company our of Houston, TX. They officialy took over running it in December. When he was layed off his rig was shut down. All the hands off it are working on other rigs. But not him, he is still layed off. They keep telling him no work. There is a boom in the business right now. They say no work? WTF. So as of the end of this month we will have no medical insurance since it cost us over 600 bucks to keep it thru the end of January. We cant afford that. Yet we both are on many different medicines. Mine are all generic. He is diabetic and his Janumet is over 300 a month. He also takes cymbalta which is over 230 a month. Plus his arthritis medicine. So i dont know how much longer we can keep paying for our meds before we are broke. I suspect the new company doesnt want to be an employee for them since he not well. He has been one of the best employees that company has had. He is never late. He never misses work even if he is sick. At least till the past couple of years. So thats what we are dealing with now. I dont know if he will ever go back to work. I know he shouldnt have to as much as he struggles. He isnt able to. So for now we live on his Unemployment. I dont know how long he can draw that. But i can tell you he and i are both very worried. So thats whats happening in my neck of the woods. Thanks for listening to who ever reads this and Padiddle, lol.

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